"The nail that sticks out gets hammered down" (Japanese Proverb)
Try that quote for cultural differences right? Westerners are all about individualism and standing up for what you believe in (ie. being the nail that sticks out). So here we have two very different perspectives on the same picture (above). On one side we have the Asians pulling out their hammers, on the other side we have the Westerners gawking in amazement and wondering how that one particular nail could stand out by itself so much further than the others.
Same picture, completely different connotation and emotions attached to it.
And as we know, emotions are what drives human beings. (Whether that be to reason, to insanity, to all the decisions we make in a lifetime).
I grew up in a very conservative Asian background, and I grew up hating it. It wasn't just the conservative stuff that made me hate it because frankly, I was so desperate for attention growing up that I voluntarily became the good conservative kid who never went out with friends stayed at home working hard studying crying over the B+ in Algebra 1 and doing extra math drills. (To this day, I have problems being un-conservative in many aspects, though I regard that as an advantage in at least 85% of the aspects of life I run into in the past). Even though I was a good kid, my parents didn't seem to take much notice of me. Living under the shadow of my perfect brother made things really difficult for me to get any attention at all, and this sucked in middle school. It was also this that made things terrible for me--as much as I'd like to believe it's not true, Asian conservative families do favor boys over girls. They do. And I tried to fight so hard against that and it never came through for me that I became depressed and eventually everything started to turn into indignant emotions and that made me run into some of the worst things that have ever happened to me in my life. The point is, even though today I'm pretty conservative, I left my home believing that no matter what happened I was going to find a way to turn that around without losing myself in the process. I distinctly remember asking advice from my white lab partner Stephen (who is actually Asian ;)) "How do you be liberal? I want to know exactly how to do it and I'm going to do it." I wasn't exactly trying to be spiteful and unappreciative of the upbringing my parents provided me, but I was thinking more along the lines of "I never want what happened to me to happen to anyone else". This led me to being emotionally influenced by other people's issues (like the eat shit story), and it led me to pick one of the most liberal schools in the US as my college.
Now I'm not trying to intentionally condemn the college I attended, but there are so many problems with that place out of my purest honesty and most widest perspective, which is a lot wider than most people's perspectives. It's a really decent school the teachers actually care about their students, students don't compare grades or compete with each other, and you get a lot of attention from adults which I think is one of the best ways to learn about life. But there are so many things wrong with that place socially. First of all, I'm going to leave out all the weird shit. That's saying a lot already, because that stuff can freak you out. Being intentionally weird by eating out of the trash can and dressing in ways most people would cringe to look at is already bad as it is, but I'm not even talking about that. Let's leave out the overbearing power of the presence of weed (I knew so many people there, and I only know one person who has never tried weed. Wow really?) and the hipsters or "politically active kiddoes" who try to talk about changing the world and saving the environment but don't actually do much (really, they don't. I am 100million times more environmentally friendly than them and I don't even talk about it or am particularly crazy about it). What I saw as the most disgusting problem with that place is the intolerance towards intolerance and the pretentiousness of that resulting in Denial with a hugeass capital D and living in a false world.
Intolerance. Isn't that what we think of when we think of Republicans and Conservatives? Say no to gay rights, say no to universal healthcare, say no to raising benefits, say no to spending on budget deficits, say no to government intervention, no, no, no. Intolerance, intolerance, and some more intolerance.
Fair enough, this is how I saw things exactly a year ago and the previous ten+ years before that as well. My parents being against gay rights, was intolerance to me. And intolerance is bad, right? I don't care what they would say to justify themselves, I want people to have equal rights. I have gay friends and I want them to be married. You guys are making someone's life miserable you hear me? MISERABLE you evil intolerators.
Then I came to college. A college where I really don't think anyone's republican, maybe like 10 people. It was a pervasively liberal atmosphere and even if you weren't keeping up with politics you supported liberal beliefs. "Be prepared to be accepted for whoever you are at this college", as I read from college prowler. Wow I thought to myself. This is where I belong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong.
First of all most people have no idea what Asia is like, so how was I expected to fit in? Another thing I'd never fit in with is smoking weed. Everyone does it, and though no one pressures me to do it, why do I want to be around a bunch of high people all the time?? (I really dislike high company by the way. Really. The ones I've been around--you guys are so fucking rude when you guys are high, and I really don't appreciate it at all. Really.) So yeah I could just not hang out with high people which is why I just had one friend.
Second of all, hey, do you guys accept conservative people too? Oops, forgot about the so-called "intolerant" people didn'tcha? Forgot to include them in the picture huh? Instead you guys are dissing them, yelling at them, rallying against them, and boycotting what they want to believe and drowning out any effort of them to make their voices heard, even though you guys said that's exactly what you guys are against. Sound familiar? Oh, did you think I was talking about the conservatives and republicans? You guys are being intolerant haven't you ever given that a thought? I support gay rights fine, but I also believe that my parents are entitled to believing what they want to believe, and anyone else for that matter.
I know it seems like change will never happen if people don't fight for it. I don't know if I can superimpose historical events to events now, but even if some day gay rights are accepted, people have to face the fact that intolerance towards intolerance is an extremely large problem in today's world as well, and if the scales tip too much in the future, the liberals should not be calling themselves anything to do with the latin root word for freedom.
I am not saying that the republicans and conservatives have the better qualities. I really don't think so, because growing up in my family I understand that they also think in a similarly intolerant way and no, I do not support that. But what I do not support was what was so prevalent at this college I had amazing expectations for! How disappointed did you think I was? It's not that I support being anti-gay. I support being entitled to your own opinion, and that was not what I found in college.
This is taking things from the outer level. We can see that in one perspective, speaking out for yourself is a bad idea (the nail that sticks out must be hammered down). We can see in another perspective that individualism is a beautiful quality that must be supported and encouraged.
My personal opinion is pro-individualism, but only enough so that you make your own decisions and do not impose on the ideas of others. Therefore, I also agree with others believing in the nail that sticks out must be hammered down. I may not support it (as I have seen one too many horrifying actions taken out with this axiom), but I understand that I cannot change the system by yelling at people and condemning their beliefs.
Anyways this was a post I was supposed to write about 8 months ago during the first month of college, but I only had like the first 4 sentences and the picture. But that's basically the naked story--its my naked thoughts on how horrible my experience was first year of college and that I learned so much from being there but it's time to be somewhere else.
Peace,
Blaize
No comments:
Post a Comment