Intolerance Towards Intolerance

As discussed in my previous post, Asian culture respects filial piety and knowing your place. American/Western culture on the other hand, respects individualism.

"The nail that sticks out gets hammered down" (Japanese Proverb)

Try that quote for cultural differences right? Westerners are all about individualism and standing up for what you believe in (ie. being the nail that sticks out). So here we have two very different perspectives on the same picture (above). On one side we have the Asians pulling out their hammers, on the other side we have the Westerners gawking in amazement and wondering how that one particular nail could stand out by itself so much further than the others.

Same picture, completely different connotation and emotions attached to it.

And as we know, emotions are what drives human beings. (Whether that be to reason, to insanity, to all the decisions we make in a lifetime).

I grew up in a very conservative Asian background, and I grew up hating it. It wasn't just the conservative stuff that made me hate it because frankly, I was so desperate for attention growing up that I voluntarily became the good conservative kid who never went out with friends stayed at home working hard studying crying over the B+ in Algebra 1 and doing extra math drills. (To this day, I have problems being un-conservative in many aspects, though I regard that as an advantage in at least 85% of the aspects of life I run into in the past). Even though I was a good kid, my parents didn't seem to take much notice of me. Living under the shadow of my perfect brother made things really difficult for me to get any attention at all, and this sucked in middle school. It was also this that made things terrible for me--as much as I'd like to believe it's not true, Asian conservative families do favor boys over girls. They do. And I tried to fight so hard against that and it never came through for me that I became depressed and eventually everything started to turn into indignant emotions and that made me run into some of the worst things that have ever happened to me in my life. The point is, even though today I'm pretty conservative, I left my home believing that no matter what happened I was going to find a way to turn that around without losing myself in the process. I distinctly remember asking advice from my white lab partner Stephen (who is actually Asian ;)) "How do you be liberal? I want to know exactly how to do it and I'm going to do it." I wasn't exactly trying to be spiteful and unappreciative of the upbringing my parents provided me, but I was thinking more along the lines of "I never want what happened to me to happen to anyone else". This led me to being emotionally influenced by other people's issues (like the eat shit story), and it led me to pick one of the most liberal schools in the US as my college.

Now I'm not trying to intentionally condemn the college I attended, but there are so many problems with that place out of my purest honesty and most widest perspective, which is a lot wider than most people's perspectives. It's a really decent school the teachers actually care about their students, students don't compare grades or compete with each other, and you get a lot of attention from adults which I think is one of the best ways to learn about life. But there are so many things wrong with that place socially. First of all, I'm going to leave out all the weird shit. That's saying a lot already, because that stuff can freak you out. Being intentionally weird by eating out of the trash can and dressing in ways most people would cringe to look at is already bad as it is, but I'm not even talking about that. Let's leave out the overbearing power of the presence of weed (I knew so many people there, and I only know one person who has never tried weed. Wow really?) and the hipsters or "politically active kiddoes" who try to talk about changing the world and saving the environment but don't actually do much (really, they don't. I am 100million times more environmentally friendly than them and I don't even talk about it or am particularly crazy about it). What I saw as the most disgusting problem with that place is the intolerance towards intolerance and the pretentiousness of that resulting in Denial with a hugeass capital D and living in a false world.

Intolerance. Isn't that what we think of when we think of Republicans and Conservatives? Say no to gay rights, say no to universal healthcare, say no to raising benefits, say no to spending on budget deficits, say no to government intervention, no, no, no. Intolerance, intolerance, and some more intolerance.

Fair enough, this is how I saw things exactly a year ago and the previous ten+ years before that as well. My parents being against gay rights, was intolerance to me. And intolerance is bad, right? I don't care what they would say to justify themselves, I want people to have equal rights. I have gay friends and I want them to be married. You guys are making someone's life miserable you hear me? MISERABLE you evil intolerators.

Then I came to college. A college where I really don't think anyone's republican, maybe like 10 people. It was a pervasively liberal atmosphere and even if you weren't keeping up with politics you supported liberal beliefs. "Be prepared to be accepted for whoever you are at this college", as I read from college prowler. Wow I thought to myself. This is where I belong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

First of all most people have no idea what Asia is like, so how was I expected to fit in? Another thing I'd never fit in with is smoking weed. Everyone does it, and though no one pressures me to do it, why do I want to be around a bunch of high people all the time?? (I really dislike high company by the way. Really. The ones I've been around--you guys are so fucking rude when you guys are high, and I really don't appreciate it at all. Really.) So yeah I could just not hang out with high people which is why I just had one friend.

Second of all, hey, do you guys accept conservative people too? Oops, forgot about the so-called "intolerant" people didn'tcha? Forgot to include them in the picture huh? Instead you guys are dissing them, yelling at them, rallying against them, and boycotting what they want to believe and drowning out any effort of them to make their voices heard, even though you guys said that's exactly what you guys are against. Sound familiar? Oh, did you think I was talking about the conservatives and republicans? You guys are being intolerant haven't you ever given that a thought? I support gay rights fine, but I also believe that my parents are entitled to believing what they want to believe, and anyone else for that matter.

I know it seems like change will never happen if people don't fight for it. I don't know if I can superimpose historical events to events now, but even if some day gay rights are accepted, people have to face the fact that intolerance towards intolerance is an extremely large problem in today's world as well, and if the scales tip too much in the future, the liberals should not be calling themselves anything to do with the latin root word for freedom.

I am not saying that the republicans and conservatives have the better qualities. I really don't think so, because growing up in my family I understand that they also think in a similarly intolerant way and no, I do not support that. But what I do not support was what was so prevalent at this college I had amazing expectations for! How disappointed did you think I was? It's not that I support being anti-gay. I support being entitled to your own opinion, and that was not what I found in college.

This is taking things from the outer level. We can see that in one perspective, speaking out for yourself is a bad idea (the nail that sticks out must be hammered down). We can see in another perspective that individualism is a beautiful quality that must be supported and encouraged.

My personal opinion is pro-individualism, but only enough so that you make your own decisions and do not impose on the ideas of others. Therefore, I also agree with others believing in the nail that sticks out must be hammered down. I may not support it (as I have seen one too many horrifying actions taken out with this axiom), but I understand that I cannot change the system by yelling at people and condemning their beliefs.

Anyways this was a post I was supposed to write about 8 months ago during the first month of college, but I only had like the first 4 sentences and the picture. But that's basically the naked story--its my naked thoughts on how horrible my experience was first year of college and that I learned so much from being there but it's time to be somewhere else.

Peace,

Blaize

Double Standards

Okay, it's kind of late, but I've wanted to make this post in a while.

Double standards. Where have we heard of these before?

The church for one. Haha. I don't know if it's just because I take Spanish and every time we're reading some Spanish literature written by some radical who was killed later on in his time, there's something to do with the church having double standards, doble moral, where some priest is forcing people to starve to death because you need to suffer like Jesus to be able to see Jesus/God someday yet he's stuffing his face in everyday and using all that donated money on himself.

In the Asian-Conservative community however, there are more subtle yet modern examples of these things going on.

It's particularly difficult, living as a third culture kid in this context. Where the younger generation receives a liberal education (american education) and the previous generation is wrapped in the old, traditional and conservative ideas of how to raise kids and how the younger generation should treat their parents.

In the liberal education I received, I had always been asked to pose my own personal opinion. Nothing we say can be considered stupid or silly, and if you have an idea you really should just give it a shot (though most of us don't voice many opinions anyways because we're actually a little Asian-conservative inside too). Another thing I was always asked of was to disagree with the teacher if I had a good argument to support it that I believed in. I have been asked to ask as many questions as I could, until I understood everything I was supposed to. It was okay if a teacher couldn't answer my questions, too, and it's OKAY to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them.

Now, I don't think I have to say any more to show that this is exactly the complete opposite of what the Asian-conservative community preaches.

Do not question what you are taught. Accept it. Because someone of greater stature taught you this, it is worth more value than your opinion is. Because he/she has been on this earth longer than you have, so they must know more and must be right. Don't try to challenge anything, because you will fail and have disrespected your elders. A mistake is a sin.

Now, there is actually a legitimate reason for all of this. That reason is Filial Piety. By a friend of ours called Confucius. Anyways Confucius' idea was that the respect for parents and ancestors should be held above all other values. Which really doesn't sound that bad it sounds kinda nice and sweet when you think about it. But I regret to discuss that I strongly believe that it hurts more in our generation than it helps.

On one side, there's good things about filial piety. It's like placing family above all else, which I think most Americans agree with too. Your family is going to be with you forever. No matter how many friends come and go it's your family that stays with you for your entire life. You cannot change your family--they will be there for all your life. That's why you place them first and why you serve them above all else. Also, filial piety is the reason why Taiwan/China has less retirement homes than the States. We're required to care for our parents when they become old, as they cared for us when we were young. Most parents live with their children or, like mine, visit very often (but yes, they are thinking of moving to Taipei now...). Who came blame them for liking filial piety? Your kids listen to you when you're young and now when they're old they're letting you stay with them! You'll NEVER be lonely for your entire life! Your kids will always be there for you.

And as for the kids, they'll get the same when they're starting the next generation. Life sounds gooooood. [This is the part where I feel kind of bad for my parents, because I don't think my brother will pull through on his deal, though even I'm hoping and praying he will because my parents deserve it for all they went through when they were young serving their parents and all the things I see them do for my grandparents now].

Alright, all good things come with a cost (actually, this is not always true, as I learned from having my best friend Tammy over for summer, that some things in life are just plain good, as long as you cherish them and feel grateful for them all the time!). Especially this one.

Problems:

1. Boys.

If you don't have a son, you kinda don't get no nice filial piety treatment, because girls get married off to serve the son's parents. (fuck. I'm simplifying it for now because I want to get to the point)

2. Synthetic Love.

It's kind of hard to actually feel love for your parents when they're beating the shit out of you for being disrespectful. I'm being Naked here again. It feels kind of uncomft, but it's better than certainty.

3. Double Standards. The reason I made this post. I first felt funny about this idea this year. When I was training with a badminton team in Taipei. I mean, it's ALWAYS been in my life--the way I'm not supposed to talk back to my parents when they condemn me to beating for every innocent mistake I've made as a kid. But this year in badminton, I guess it was blatantly staring at my face a lot more clearly than before, perhaps because it wasn't happening to me.

A Naked Story: I finished a game with a kid, and I lost (duh) but anyways another kid came up to me and asked me, "What was the score in the game you just played now?"

I sorta laughed because well even though it was close I lost right? To an eighth grader. And this assistant coach immediately scolded him saying "HELLO?? You're supposed to address her as 學姊* [Xue Jie]. And what happened to your manners? You're supposed to say "Excuse me Xue Jie may I ask for the score in the game you just played?".

He didn't really say it in a mean way, just a little authoritative. Yet, I immediately responded, "Haha no it's fine he can talk to me like that."

I don't think it helped because he kept trying to apologize to me. Anyways the next thing that happened was another girl was talking to the same assistant coach and I wasn't listening in but I did hear him say loudly (in English) "EAT SHIT!"

And I asked, "Did you just say Eat Shit?!"

And he said, "Yeah, 吃屎 [Chi Shi], you know? Eat Shit!"

So I responded, "Okay first you're yelling at that kid for bad manners and now you're yelling at someone else Eat Shit??"

And he replied, "Hey that's different. He's addressing you and I'm addressing her. I'm older so I'm allowed to do that, it's from UP to DOWN. However he was going from DOWN to UP and that's not allowed"

I just kind of tried to cut him off in the middle going like "yeah yeah whatever you're the best example in the world".

*kind of like the equivalent to 'alumnus' in English, but there's no real translation. It really means an upperclassman and they have it for girls and boys (school older sister/older brother). They also have it for underclassmen, but you address underclassmen by their names. Just when you refer to underclassmen you can call them Xue Di and Xue Mei (school younger sister/younger brother)

So anyways, that was the time I realized that all my life it's been this way--my parents can say whatever mean things to me they want and condemn my actions however they want, but if I make any statement about them I'm in huge trouble. I mean I guess my parents have a right to get mad at my open cursing, but I think I have a right to address their double standards without being silenced by force.

I'll have to say, I don't think filial piety works anymore. People learn by actions not by words.

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say"

I can't say I'm the perfect example, but I don't try to pretend that what I do is definitely superior and right just because I am older. And I don't try to preach things I don't do myself. It's become so difficult for us to feel close to our parents when every time we open up to them they have something to say about all the wrongdoings we've been committing, and then watch them do similar things. And if we talk about any problems they have, we're deemed shitty kids who are unappreciative and super bu xiao, unfilial.

On one hand, it's good that we put emphasis on our family and place respect for parents on a top priority. Yet, it's horrendous and nauseating to think about all the times they take advantage of this idea for their own shortcomings. I guess this has been a problem for a long time, but it's never been of much importance because well, it's not often we come across third-culture kids I guess. I mean the kids at the badminton team don't think there's anything wrong with any of it. It's because of my liberal education and my agreement to my education that I feel so disgusted by certain Asian-Conservative things.

I don't want to condemn my parents. They are just doing what they were taught. They only know this. I mean even though they lived a decade in the states it's been more than a decade since they've been comfortably back in Taiwan, around so many people who support Asian-conservative ideas and way of life.

I just know it's not what I want for the future generation, and I've done too little to help so far.

Peace,

Blaize

This World Today (Being an American)

Now I'm never a big one to criticize (highly opinionated is different than criticism xD), but I can't stand the fact that our president deployed 30,000 troops into Afghanistan. I mean okay I'm not president and I know I am no political analyst, nor have I ever been truly educated in full light about the subject, so I have a lot of my own limitations. Fair enough. I am no expert. But I have eyes and ears that look as much as they can reach. And I can't tolerate this. I just can't.


"The use of force morally justified" (peace prize acceptance speech)??? God! Okay yeah what about when people lie dead everywhere? How is THAT moral? I mean I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh but really it's NOT about the US, its about Afghanistan. It's their country and you're involving their people. It's not about the US and democratizing and okay why are we threatening countries to democratize?

And please, do not compare this with Nazi Germany Mr. Obama this is what we learned in logic class as the fallacy of the False Analogy. The Germans were warped with the idea of taking over the world (and they were not a minority group) and killing Jews because they were impure in blood supposedly. Al Queda is a minority--it's a small group of radicalists how can you kill so many innocent lives because of the small group of radicalists? And if this is then about Sadamn Hussein it's still not the fault of the people of Afghanistan. Don't do this Mr. Obama, please.

..."force is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history". Yeah, and that APPARENTLY times HAVE NOT CHANGED. This is so not fair. "(direclty continued)..the imperfection of man, and the limits of reason". Yes...and the unfortunate continuation of it by the measures the US has taken to "LIBERATE AFGHANISTAN" oh for the love of God (I'm not religious do not take any offence) you can't threaten people to be liberated! Al Queda is such a small group of radicalists and yes unfortunately they're causing huge problems around the world but how is pointing a gun and asking people who don't have any experience at ALL--not in history not in literature not in art--with democracy to democratize???

I still have to turn to my idol Chinua Achebe to this--I'm not sure he'd be too pleased about what the US is doing. I mean how if Afghanistan just isn't ready? Why can't we let them decide when they are ready. Because there's violence going on there all the time? Okay I get your point, but by using violence back it's no answer either.

Everytime I get here I start crying again. Who's to say what the US is doing is better than letting the country alone? Sure, the country alone is chaotic with the terrorists, and yes, it has killed many, many Americans in 911 but honestly just because the US is going to point guns, loot out the terrorists (and in the process accuse thousands of being terrorists and killing them), bomb villages, and literally, FORCE "democracy" onto Afghanistan (yeah the elections were swell America), doesn't mean Afghanistan can assimilate. Even with force okay this is a racist sounding analogy, but it's like pointing a gun to a newborn baby and telling him/her to walk. They are just not ready. Please understand. They will be someday but not today. And the more you point the gun the more terrorized they will be and maybe you could get the baby to walk. Maybe. But what was given up to make that happen--in this case with Afghanistan lives lost

And it's such a small minority that is involved--I'm sure many Afghanistan people did not like Sadam Hussein and none of them want suicide bombers, but even more violence to make them become a democracy isn't the answer if they simply can't.

I'm not trying to propagandize for the Afghanistan people. I actually don't agree with a lot of what they're saying. It's not entirely Obama's fault okay I mean I hate to be cynical and bitchy/arrogant sounding but the president says what he (someday it'll be she) has to say. I think it was Bismark or someone during Bismark's time who was saying that a leader is only as powerful as the people are--as in they can only make decisions if the majority is in concordance. (well, that was obviously before Hitler, but US is more like what the European guy was talking about than Nazi Germany). But anyways, my point is that I don't believe what they show on Al Jazeera--like in Control Room where the kid was yelling--was justified. Yes, he was disillusioned like anyone would be, but I don't think what a lot of things they said were justified. So I'm not agreeing with what they're saying, and I'm not trying to support any propaganda I'm not saying Al Jazeera is right or anything with the propaganda they're showing (though I'm SO glad they are there--finally at least something from the other side so thank you Al Jazeera).

I'm just saying it doesn't work this way.

I'm saying these things from deep inside and I wish Obama would understand and see that it doesn't work this way. They are just not ready. I understand that you are saying it is justified because if we leave it there suicide bombings and these relgious problems keep happening, but whatever you're doing--deploying 30,000 more troops--is not the way to go. It is not the way to go.
Achebe said, literature helps prepare his people to modernize--don't try to impose things on his people because they are not ready. And they will be ready someday (which is where he believes literature will help), but don't try to "help these poor people". Sympathy is frowned upon without empathy.

I am American. I was born in that beautiful country. I live in Taiwan. I spent my adolescent and pre-adolescent years in Taiwan. I study the IB program. I want to travel; to see more to learn more. I have been opening my visions to bigger, greater ideas. I don't want this from my country.

Alright well, I have a USH final tomorrow and I'm up till 12. Whoopee. And I know of no one that reads my blog, but I have to get my thoughts somewhere.

I hear your crys, Afghanistan.
I won't support slandering Obama to hell, but Obama, know I am deeply wounded and disappointed by your decision.

Praying in this world today,
-Blaize.


PS. Youtube deleted my videos. Well, Carte Blanche suspended it cuz I had the tatty teddy on it. Geez :(