You Look Pretty...

You gotta look pretty in this world. Of course it depends on your profession, but you gotta at least know how to look nice. I'm not saying you have to go out there and spend all your money on the latest runway picks, but you do have to do stuff to make yourself look nice.

I saw something on the news the other day, and it was related to politics and the man just..wasn't attractive. And I thought, I hate to sound shallow, but in politics if you want to be successful, you have to look nice. You just have to. Maybe it shouldn't be that way but that's the way it is now, and trust me: you can't overturn this one. Because we are driven by aesthetics.

I hate plastic surgery and everything, so I definitely don't support going there. But I feel like people who look attractive think differently. That's a huge claim to make, but I've seen people become so much more attractive from a different way of thinking. And that thought is typically related to success. It is thought that shapes the decisions we make, and as Albert Camus put it (and I strongly agree), "Life is the sum of all your choices."

Success is so superficial today. We look at the end result of everything and be like "wow, you made it so far, I admire you you are an amazing person you like, made it, dude," not realizing that they are just like us, working and chipping away at the David that is their lives. As Alan Watts put it, we think in terms of material success, and thus there is a start and a finish, and the goal is to get to that finish! Go get it! This has caused our thought process and internal programming to be totally backwards! Backwards in the sense of the "proper" (or perhaps, smoothest/easiest) methodology of getting what we want. We think that once we get what we want we will be happy. But once you get there you realize that you feel a little different but you're just who you have been, and you cover this up and try to bury it with "oh but this is what I want next! :D"

Start with your internal programming and thought. People who are successful think differently, not have different stuff. They have different stuff because they think differently.

Now I'm willing to extend this to the idea that people look different because they think different. I don't know how many people would be willing to take my two cents on that, but I don't find it far-fetched.

And now going back to the exterior material world we live in, we are driven by aesthetics - not just in looks - and aesthetics create a serious strong incentive, subconscious or conscious. Though often subtle in most professions, attractiveness will help you in your career. To varying degrees of course, but we are driven by aesthetics, and given that I believe people look different because they think different, the intuition is sure as hell a good/valid one. There are always exceptions, but it will always be the starting point.

Passion and Creativity (and Alcohol)

I've had a lot of confusion with life for a long time. Being forced to work so hard for good grades for so long was all I knew about my life for a long time. Since I never got for-real-serious all A+'s (even if you've got an A grade point average overall, you could STILL DO BETTER!) I always had something to work towards. Then I got into some great colleges and was like "Wow! This is what my parents wanted me to work hard for!" Then now I'm college, and I'm like...am I seriously just doing everything over again so that I can get into good grad school??! It must stop somewhere, right? What am I doing work so hard I mean I am learning but...?

Then I discovered an amazing book, and in the middle of reading it, went through a breakup that cut it close. The amazing book kept me hanging on and knowing that I could do something in my life, but it was so hard because I wondered why I put myself out there that much just to break up, and also feeling like it never got THAT good before it ended. I wondered what the point to anything was. Was it really that amazingly important that I got into such a wonderful awesome pawesome college? (It's wonderfully beautifully amazing, but you're kind of like ".....okay, and?...so what?")

I then was introduced to this video by a friend of mine, right after I brought up the same concept in different words (I used something like life is us working on a canvas and people come into our lives drawing parts and you gotta take those people in while they're there)

Today was the first Thanksgiving I had with a family for a long time. It was wonderfully fun, and I kept thinking life is supposed to be full of the smiles and laughter we shared tonight. One thing that was really fun though was that I finally got some alcohol to play around with.

Bartending. I love it so much. I thought I loved it because it was cool to be like "Yeah, I bartend," but having people compliment me on the drinks I mixed tonight, I realized I genuinely just love it.

I love the way you put things together for something so wonderful. Alcohol itself is something amazing. The way it kind of loosens you up. And being able to make it taste so much more amazing than any fruit punch you can ever make is just. Wow. I am always so surprised at how good I can make things taste (haha) (seriously though! Come have some!). It's like when you're playing a sport and you hit this make this perfect shot or move you totally didn't know you had in you. Well, it's that for every drink I make. That rush that I got when all the alcohols were pulled out of the cupboard and placed in front of me, the scent of squeezing fresh organic limes, the way it feels when you shake that drink up between your hands and the "oo"s and "ahh"s going all around...and the moment people TASTE. Taste. Wow. That is really good. What is it called? Oh, I kind of made it up :)

It's this like little thing that grows inside you, and the adrenaline that builds in you from happiness. Like when you go on a roller coaster and that feeling you get when you're just falling. Except it's completely controlled by you (as in you know exactly where it's coming from), and it doesn't scare you. It just is. You are flowing out those amazing energies that launch your creativity and happiness. And you know you could just do this for a long time and still feel that warm fuzzy softly exhilarating rush.

That is passion. That is what we are here for.

Now of course, my life's calling isn't bartending, but it is something I love. Badminton likewise and many other things - singing, guitar playing. If we could live in those moments, and dance and sing to the music that's playing, I think the quality of our lives could be greatly improved. Sometimes we do these things and even though we love them we don't get ourselves immersed in that rush! Learn to live in the rush. Live in the now and live in the beauty of that feeling. Because I guarantee you, that rush, even if you fake it for certain things, will bring you physical manifestations of the feelings you are producing.

Go out there and do something that makes you rush. Or even better, learn to build that rush within you consciously, and go put yourself out there on your little emotional high. You'll be amazed at what happens to you. 緣份 [yuan fen] (the ties you have with others; being the right person at the right place at the right time) will bring you to amazing places and people. Trust that (I love my Asian background for teaching me about yuan). Live in the moment. Stop waiting for your amazing things to come to you, or waiting to be happy in your afterlife or "once you get there." Learn to do it now! It'll be the difference in the qualities of people's lives, and you best better wanna be one of those high quality lifestyles!

If you need an event bartender call me!

Peace,

And Love,

Blaize

Intolerance Towards Intolerance

As discussed in my previous post, Asian culture respects filial piety and knowing your place. American/Western culture on the other hand, respects individualism.

"The nail that sticks out gets hammered down" (Japanese Proverb)

Try that quote for cultural differences right? Westerners are all about individualism and standing up for what you believe in (ie. being the nail that sticks out). So here we have two very different perspectives on the same picture (above). On one side we have the Asians pulling out their hammers, on the other side we have the Westerners gawking in amazement and wondering how that one particular nail could stand out by itself so much further than the others.

Same picture, completely different connotation and emotions attached to it.

And as we know, emotions are what drives human beings. (Whether that be to reason, to insanity, to all the decisions we make in a lifetime).

I grew up in a very conservative Asian background, and I grew up hating it. It wasn't just the conservative stuff that made me hate it because frankly, I was so desperate for attention growing up that I voluntarily became the good conservative kid who never went out with friends stayed at home working hard studying crying over the B+ in Algebra 1 and doing extra math drills. (To this day, I have problems being un-conservative in many aspects, though I regard that as an advantage in at least 85% of the aspects of life I run into in the past). Even though I was a good kid, my parents didn't seem to take much notice of me. Living under the shadow of my perfect brother made things really difficult for me to get any attention at all, and this sucked in middle school. It was also this that made things terrible for me--as much as I'd like to believe it's not true, Asian conservative families do favor boys over girls. They do. And I tried to fight so hard against that and it never came through for me that I became depressed and eventually everything started to turn into indignant emotions and that made me run into some of the worst things that have ever happened to me in my life. The point is, even though today I'm pretty conservative, I left my home believing that no matter what happened I was going to find a way to turn that around without losing myself in the process. I distinctly remember asking advice from my white lab partner Stephen (who is actually Asian ;)) "How do you be liberal? I want to know exactly how to do it and I'm going to do it." I wasn't exactly trying to be spiteful and unappreciative of the upbringing my parents provided me, but I was thinking more along the lines of "I never want what happened to me to happen to anyone else". This led me to being emotionally influenced by other people's issues (like the eat shit story), and it led me to pick one of the most liberal schools in the US as my college.

Now I'm not trying to intentionally condemn the college I attended, but there are so many problems with that place out of my purest honesty and most widest perspective, which is a lot wider than most people's perspectives. It's a really decent school the teachers actually care about their students, students don't compare grades or compete with each other, and you get a lot of attention from adults which I think is one of the best ways to learn about life. But there are so many things wrong with that place socially. First of all, I'm going to leave out all the weird shit. That's saying a lot already, because that stuff can freak you out. Being intentionally weird by eating out of the trash can and dressing in ways most people would cringe to look at is already bad as it is, but I'm not even talking about that. Let's leave out the overbearing power of the presence of weed (I knew so many people there, and I only know one person who has never tried weed. Wow really?) and the hipsters or "politically active kiddoes" who try to talk about changing the world and saving the environment but don't actually do much (really, they don't. I am 100million times more environmentally friendly than them and I don't even talk about it or am particularly crazy about it). What I saw as the most disgusting problem with that place is the intolerance towards intolerance and the pretentiousness of that resulting in Denial with a hugeass capital D and living in a false world.

Intolerance. Isn't that what we think of when we think of Republicans and Conservatives? Say no to gay rights, say no to universal healthcare, say no to raising benefits, say no to spending on budget deficits, say no to government intervention, no, no, no. Intolerance, intolerance, and some more intolerance.

Fair enough, this is how I saw things exactly a year ago and the previous ten+ years before that as well. My parents being against gay rights, was intolerance to me. And intolerance is bad, right? I don't care what they would say to justify themselves, I want people to have equal rights. I have gay friends and I want them to be married. You guys are making someone's life miserable you hear me? MISERABLE you evil intolerators.

Then I came to college. A college where I really don't think anyone's republican, maybe like 10 people. It was a pervasively liberal atmosphere and even if you weren't keeping up with politics you supported liberal beliefs. "Be prepared to be accepted for whoever you are at this college", as I read from college prowler. Wow I thought to myself. This is where I belong.

Wrong, wrong, wrong.

First of all most people have no idea what Asia is like, so how was I expected to fit in? Another thing I'd never fit in with is smoking weed. Everyone does it, and though no one pressures me to do it, why do I want to be around a bunch of high people all the time?? (I really dislike high company by the way. Really. The ones I've been around--you guys are so fucking rude when you guys are high, and I really don't appreciate it at all. Really.) So yeah I could just not hang out with high people which is why I just had one friend.

Second of all, hey, do you guys accept conservative people too? Oops, forgot about the so-called "intolerant" people didn'tcha? Forgot to include them in the picture huh? Instead you guys are dissing them, yelling at them, rallying against them, and boycotting what they want to believe and drowning out any effort of them to make their voices heard, even though you guys said that's exactly what you guys are against. Sound familiar? Oh, did you think I was talking about the conservatives and republicans? You guys are being intolerant haven't you ever given that a thought? I support gay rights fine, but I also believe that my parents are entitled to believing what they want to believe, and anyone else for that matter.

I know it seems like change will never happen if people don't fight for it. I don't know if I can superimpose historical events to events now, but even if some day gay rights are accepted, people have to face the fact that intolerance towards intolerance is an extremely large problem in today's world as well, and if the scales tip too much in the future, the liberals should not be calling themselves anything to do with the latin root word for freedom.

I am not saying that the republicans and conservatives have the better qualities. I really don't think so, because growing up in my family I understand that they also think in a similarly intolerant way and no, I do not support that. But what I do not support was what was so prevalent at this college I had amazing expectations for! How disappointed did you think I was? It's not that I support being anti-gay. I support being entitled to your own opinion, and that was not what I found in college.

This is taking things from the outer level. We can see that in one perspective, speaking out for yourself is a bad idea (the nail that sticks out must be hammered down). We can see in another perspective that individualism is a beautiful quality that must be supported and encouraged.

My personal opinion is pro-individualism, but only enough so that you make your own decisions and do not impose on the ideas of others. Therefore, I also agree with others believing in the nail that sticks out must be hammered down. I may not support it (as I have seen one too many horrifying actions taken out with this axiom), but I understand that I cannot change the system by yelling at people and condemning their beliefs.

Anyways this was a post I was supposed to write about 8 months ago during the first month of college, but I only had like the first 4 sentences and the picture. But that's basically the naked story--its my naked thoughts on how horrible my experience was first year of college and that I learned so much from being there but it's time to be somewhere else.

Peace,

Blaize

Double Standards

Okay, it's kind of late, but I've wanted to make this post in a while.

Double standards. Where have we heard of these before?

The church for one. Haha. I don't know if it's just because I take Spanish and every time we're reading some Spanish literature written by some radical who was killed later on in his time, there's something to do with the church having double standards, doble moral, where some priest is forcing people to starve to death because you need to suffer like Jesus to be able to see Jesus/God someday yet he's stuffing his face in everyday and using all that donated money on himself.

In the Asian-Conservative community however, there are more subtle yet modern examples of these things going on.

It's particularly difficult, living as a third culture kid in this context. Where the younger generation receives a liberal education (american education) and the previous generation is wrapped in the old, traditional and conservative ideas of how to raise kids and how the younger generation should treat their parents.

In the liberal education I received, I had always been asked to pose my own personal opinion. Nothing we say can be considered stupid or silly, and if you have an idea you really should just give it a shot (though most of us don't voice many opinions anyways because we're actually a little Asian-conservative inside too). Another thing I was always asked of was to disagree with the teacher if I had a good argument to support it that I believed in. I have been asked to ask as many questions as I could, until I understood everything I was supposed to. It was okay if a teacher couldn't answer my questions, too, and it's OKAY to make mistakes, as long as you learn from them.

Now, I don't think I have to say any more to show that this is exactly the complete opposite of what the Asian-conservative community preaches.

Do not question what you are taught. Accept it. Because someone of greater stature taught you this, it is worth more value than your opinion is. Because he/she has been on this earth longer than you have, so they must know more and must be right. Don't try to challenge anything, because you will fail and have disrespected your elders. A mistake is a sin.

Now, there is actually a legitimate reason for all of this. That reason is Filial Piety. By a friend of ours called Confucius. Anyways Confucius' idea was that the respect for parents and ancestors should be held above all other values. Which really doesn't sound that bad it sounds kinda nice and sweet when you think about it. But I regret to discuss that I strongly believe that it hurts more in our generation than it helps.

On one side, there's good things about filial piety. It's like placing family above all else, which I think most Americans agree with too. Your family is going to be with you forever. No matter how many friends come and go it's your family that stays with you for your entire life. You cannot change your family--they will be there for all your life. That's why you place them first and why you serve them above all else. Also, filial piety is the reason why Taiwan/China has less retirement homes than the States. We're required to care for our parents when they become old, as they cared for us when we were young. Most parents live with their children or, like mine, visit very often (but yes, they are thinking of moving to Taipei now...). Who came blame them for liking filial piety? Your kids listen to you when you're young and now when they're old they're letting you stay with them! You'll NEVER be lonely for your entire life! Your kids will always be there for you.

And as for the kids, they'll get the same when they're starting the next generation. Life sounds gooooood. [This is the part where I feel kind of bad for my parents, because I don't think my brother will pull through on his deal, though even I'm hoping and praying he will because my parents deserve it for all they went through when they were young serving their parents and all the things I see them do for my grandparents now].

Alright, all good things come with a cost (actually, this is not always true, as I learned from having my best friend Tammy over for summer, that some things in life are just plain good, as long as you cherish them and feel grateful for them all the time!). Especially this one.

Problems:

1. Boys.

If you don't have a son, you kinda don't get no nice filial piety treatment, because girls get married off to serve the son's parents. (fuck. I'm simplifying it for now because I want to get to the point)

2. Synthetic Love.

It's kind of hard to actually feel love for your parents when they're beating the shit out of you for being disrespectful. I'm being Naked here again. It feels kind of uncomft, but it's better than certainty.

3. Double Standards. The reason I made this post. I first felt funny about this idea this year. When I was training with a badminton team in Taipei. I mean, it's ALWAYS been in my life--the way I'm not supposed to talk back to my parents when they condemn me to beating for every innocent mistake I've made as a kid. But this year in badminton, I guess it was blatantly staring at my face a lot more clearly than before, perhaps because it wasn't happening to me.

A Naked Story: I finished a game with a kid, and I lost (duh) but anyways another kid came up to me and asked me, "What was the score in the game you just played now?"

I sorta laughed because well even though it was close I lost right? To an eighth grader. And this assistant coach immediately scolded him saying "HELLO?? You're supposed to address her as 學姊* [Xue Jie]. And what happened to your manners? You're supposed to say "Excuse me Xue Jie may I ask for the score in the game you just played?".

He didn't really say it in a mean way, just a little authoritative. Yet, I immediately responded, "Haha no it's fine he can talk to me like that."

I don't think it helped because he kept trying to apologize to me. Anyways the next thing that happened was another girl was talking to the same assistant coach and I wasn't listening in but I did hear him say loudly (in English) "EAT SHIT!"

And I asked, "Did you just say Eat Shit?!"

And he said, "Yeah, 吃屎 [Chi Shi], you know? Eat Shit!"

So I responded, "Okay first you're yelling at that kid for bad manners and now you're yelling at someone else Eat Shit??"

And he replied, "Hey that's different. He's addressing you and I'm addressing her. I'm older so I'm allowed to do that, it's from UP to DOWN. However he was going from DOWN to UP and that's not allowed"

I just kind of tried to cut him off in the middle going like "yeah yeah whatever you're the best example in the world".

*kind of like the equivalent to 'alumnus' in English, but there's no real translation. It really means an upperclassman and they have it for girls and boys (school older sister/older brother). They also have it for underclassmen, but you address underclassmen by their names. Just when you refer to underclassmen you can call them Xue Di and Xue Mei (school younger sister/younger brother)

So anyways, that was the time I realized that all my life it's been this way--my parents can say whatever mean things to me they want and condemn my actions however they want, but if I make any statement about them I'm in huge trouble. I mean I guess my parents have a right to get mad at my open cursing, but I think I have a right to address their double standards without being silenced by force.

I'll have to say, I don't think filial piety works anymore. People learn by actions not by words.

"What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say"

I can't say I'm the perfect example, but I don't try to pretend that what I do is definitely superior and right just because I am older. And I don't try to preach things I don't do myself. It's become so difficult for us to feel close to our parents when every time we open up to them they have something to say about all the wrongdoings we've been committing, and then watch them do similar things. And if we talk about any problems they have, we're deemed shitty kids who are unappreciative and super bu xiao, unfilial.

On one hand, it's good that we put emphasis on our family and place respect for parents on a top priority. Yet, it's horrendous and nauseating to think about all the times they take advantage of this idea for their own shortcomings. I guess this has been a problem for a long time, but it's never been of much importance because well, it's not often we come across third-culture kids I guess. I mean the kids at the badminton team don't think there's anything wrong with any of it. It's because of my liberal education and my agreement to my education that I feel so disgusted by certain Asian-Conservative things.

I don't want to condemn my parents. They are just doing what they were taught. They only know this. I mean even though they lived a decade in the states it's been more than a decade since they've been comfortably back in Taiwan, around so many people who support Asian-conservative ideas and way of life.

I just know it's not what I want for the future generation, and I've done too little to help so far.

Peace,

Blaize

From Infinity and Beyond...

I'll have to say, I'm probably one of the harshest movie critics, and Toy Story 3 has made it to one of my top favorites. (And yes, I cried a lot in this movie). Aside from the cute jokes (the bookworm sighing upon seeing "Ken" wear high heels, Ken's awesome clothes ("MISSION TO MARS KEN"), and little green men), I think what makes this movie so special is the tight comaderie that exists amongst these toys and this general childhood nostalgia you feel when you watch this movie.

It's incredible to see, after three movies, how much these toys have each others' backs. They never go out alone, and they've always been there to help out on difficult situations (plot hole? I can't imagine what happened to Bo Peep and Wheezy when they were sold). Sticking together. That's another thing these toys seem to understand. Working together and sticking together. Okay, so they may have serious problems with trust (first movie and third movie they accuse Woody of lying) and sometimes jealousy ("college boy Woody", Buzz Lightyear in the first movie), but overall they've always stuck together and end up together, which I admire very much. I mean nothing they've accomplished would have ever been possible if they hadn't worked together the way they did (yeah come on, they're TOYS for goodness sake). At the end, Woody is at the crossroads for what to do with his friends, and he, of course, chooses them, despite his love for Andy. I guess I was hoping Andy would get to keep him and take him to college with him, but that would have also felt weird--who was Woody without his insanely supportive friends? I know I would be lost without friends like that. But I think we can all learn from the way these toys have managed along ten+ years of difficulties.

And I'll never forget the scene where Bonnie bounces on the bed and snuggles with all her toys. Although it was really funny when it was on screen (slow motion of Woody and the toys bouncing in the air), it struck a raw nerve in me and sent my tear ducts in action because I missed that innocence and simple state of being. It's always hard to pinpoint where and when everything changed, but I still wonder about why it's weird when I make my toys talk to each other now and it was my daily pastime from infinity and beyond ago. And where did I lose all the pleasure in making up stories and making toys kill each other or making them have tea with each other? How did it all go?


Andy was my friend as a kid, and now, we're both going off to college. We shared the same love for our toys and now are both a bit clueless of where they stand. They accompanied us in hard times. They dried our tears when we were upset. We know the best thing to do is to give them to others, so that they can dry the tears of others and provide comfort for others, but at the same time, it's extremely difficult. One thing's for sure, we can never live the way we did from infinity and beyond. Two, actually--Most of us will always yearn for the time we were free of worries and pressures of the real world. When will I ever catch up to myself on this?

I loved this movie more than I would be able to describe, for giving me that one taste of childhood and for the compassion Andy shares with me.
I guess at the end of the day, I'll look forward to something positive. So I guess although I'm missing things from before, I'll be looking To Infinity and Beyond...



Also, Happy 75th Birthday to my favorite spiritual leader of the world! (Well, not comparing with Ghandi).
You are an inspiration to millions and your love has made the world a better place. Peace be with you.

Peace,
Blaize

Selective Respect

Today...don't even ask about how today was.
I guess it started out quite well I mean by 3pm I was feeling like it was a good work day and that I'd post on my blog that it was a good work day.

At work I watched "17 Again" on HBO. My first impression (besides "Damn, Zac Efron is pretty darn cute") was "Aw, this movie is so sweet", especially the part where he talks about how much he loves his wife reading off a page but the page is actually directions on how to get to the courtroom. I watched the movie in mute and reading Chinese subtitles (which wasn't too easy, given my level of Chinese). Later on that day, things began to unfold in a way that started making me see this movie differently.

He really relied on his looks a lot.


Instance #1: They were having sex ed in class where they were passing out condoms. He talked about how sex is good when it's with that right person and stuff like only do sex after marriage and when you look at your baby daughter how you'll feel and girls need to respect themselves etc. and all the girls were looking at him like he was some gift from heaven--so special to believe in sex after marriage and all. However, if he were in his dad form at 37 years, the kids would not have listened to him at all. They'd probably throw stuff at him to make him shutup about all that old conservative daddycrap. Or if he were some loser looking kid in school, well, lol who's gonna listen to him?
Basically, he only pulled that off because he was a cute teenage boy, even though the content of what he talked about is exactly the same as what parents teach their kids.



Instance #2: The whole entire story. How he got back with his wife. It was because he was a young kid again and was able to talk to his wife from a different standpoint. She listened to him then, and wouldn't have if he weren't the young highschool student he was for that time period. Partly because his wife didn't know it was him, but I felt that a lot of the time she took his word for things more because he was young and attractive. And all those things he talked to her about she never would have taken in if he were in his old husbandform.


I had to get out of work today as soon as I could. I was stifling for some reason.


So here goes, the Naked Story of the Day: Someone who's been working at the restaurant is back and is coming to work with us again. To make a long story short, he's this experienced bartender and he wants to work as a waiter and everyone started swooning over the fact that he's actually doing the "harder" (?! if thats how you'd describe it)/"more tiring"/"lower position" work. I mean they were even apologizing that they asked him to takeover for a shift.

I respect him. I really do. He's been here for a long time, and he's undeniably one of the best bartenders around.

But on the other hand, I respect everyone. I respect this guy who's joining us for day shifts for the rest of the month. I also respect the person who's just come in yesterday for his first shift. I respect the person who's been here for two years. I respect the boss. I respect the customers. Unless someone has given me reason otherwise, I respect everyone.

Why is it that there is a hierarchy created and it's okay not to respect people "below" you but if you dare offend someone above you or give them "less respect than they deserve", you'd better be thinking of ways to make it up to them right away?

I'm not saying he doesn't deserve this respect. Sure he does. It's just why have I been treated this differently coming into work? I'm not being all high and mighty going like "hey I'm so good", I'm just saying that people should treat each other with an equal amount of respect, regardless of where we come from and all. I mean look, when someone else is asked to take over for someone's shift, no one is this nervous and that appalled that I am willing to take a shift. Every judgment is predetermined by a status and social hierarchy already.

I think I need to spend some time with my old friends. Balance is key. I'm still muddled about it even after writing about it. I mean this whole thing is a problem amongst the Asian community. Filial Piety and respect. It's okay for an adult to yell at a kid but if a kid complains they're screwed.
Something like that. Double standards. That is going to be another post someday.

I'm going to play Sims 2 tonight and call it a day. This day cannot get any more butthurts than this. Thank god for dance tomorrow morning.

Peace (or praying for some),
Blaize.

Congrats On Your New Job!

I have not posted in AGES. Partly the perks of doing the International Baccalaureate (I still cannot spell that) (yes I used spellcheck okay?) and partly because I'm Asian. And everyone knows while the rest of the world is living their lives up, Asians are in their rooms doing long division at two months old and calculus by the second grade.

So a few updates.
First, I finally got my hands on a copy of Tangled, by Carolyn Mackler (turns out books.com.tw isn't that bad at ordering books) and I have to say it was pretty darn awesome, like all her other books. The only complaint I'd have is that it's too short. And no I'm not trying to be all like "Aw man, why did it have to end it was so great!!", I mean it, it was kind of too short. I felt like the characters all went through 1 twenty-page "event" and suddenly their lives are different. Okay so maybe that happens in real life and all but I felt like I didn't really get a good enough chance to really immerse myself into the book and understand all the characters really well. I still liked The Earth, My Butt, and Other Big Round Things more, though Tangled is quite a cute novel as well. Maybe I still like believing in the outrageously ideal life and perfect situation where things always follow through after shit happens.
I can't say I don't want that though, given the situation I'm in now. Well, I've been praying on that to happen for a long time. I guess my 4.3 this semester was a nice touch to my half-slacking off (hey...I was studying for IB exams).


Second important update: I have a part time job now. It's been consuming most of my life so I don't really know why I'd refer to it as part time. It's eight hours a day at a restaurant (10AM-6PM). And when there are a lot of customers, it gets pretty hard to handle. I started out with a work schedule where I didn't have two consecutive days of work, but today is the second day of four consecutive days of work (only to be broken by a small event known to Americans as Independence Day and to me as My Birthday). Anyways, prior to joining the crew, I constantly hung out at the restaurant, because I had a small gig there with Scarlett during New Year's. It seemed like the coolest job ever, mixing drinks and serving those awesome drinks to customers you chat with all the time. And the boss--he's awesome! He's this chill guy sitting outside smoking or drinking a bottle of beer who looks after us like his own children and always has a friendly chat. Not to mention he's a great propaganda artist and a normal artist as well.

I had an internship at Starbucks last year, where I went through their employee training. Training for four things: History of Starbucks, Coffee Communication, Quality Customer Service, and Barista Classes. A manager of a store taught each of the classes, and every employee was required to go through these classes. I thought this was great because each and every employee has a good foundation about everything from how to describe the difference between coffee from Tanzania and coffee from Sumatra to why Howard even got this Eureka idea of "Starbucks" in the first place. And it gave us all something to appreciate about the store and all of us learned how to make drinks and everything.

Well, at the restaurant, none of that. I was given "training" by someone working there for half a year. And since I'm telling the Naked Story on this blog, she really needs to loosen up a bit. I mean if the chopsticks are slanted she complains. I don't know, I guess it's nice when the restaurant looks totally spick and span perfectly aligned, but I feel so uptight doing everything so perfectly and in my honest opinion it doesn't matter that much. I can't help but to think how the rigidity of work is what gets me down all day. And to pull through an entire day I have to constantly tell myself: Welcome to the Real World, kiddo. Or: It's only for two and a half months (two and a half months??!). Or: I'm doing it for the experience (yeah, what am I doing if I get paid 350NT an hour for tutoring services?).

I love some other people there though. I guess we just click better than other people when we're working. And I love my boss, he's really great. But there's just that rigidity there and the following month I have so many shifts it's intense (it's like five days a week now). I don't get to learn to make drinks because I'm new. I have to stay outside and do all the choresy stuff, while some other people are chillin' because it's "not their job to do the outside chorsey stuff" (why? well because they've been there longer. what?!)

I don't know. I'm just so pooped out I can hardly attend dance classes (and I love dance classes and have to finish forty classes before I leave for the states. So if anyone wants to join me, let me know (it's 150NT/class) I need some classes to be used up). I hate to admit it but it's just too true that I keep wondering what it'd be like if I applied for Starbucks. Then I keep thinking of my dad, who swears the secret to success anywhere is "Adapt to your environment, don't let the environment adapt to you". Then I feel guilty and start wondering what would my dad do or what would so-and-so do in this situation?

I guess I'm just too tired by the end of the day to think about how much fun I'm not having working. No one said money was easy to come by, but gee, the Naked Story is that tutoring an evil kid who hates learning is easier than this (yes, those kids who hate English that I tutor English to).

Anyways, I guess this post is getting too long again and I'm seriously extremely burned out for the day. The Naked Story is although I love the congrats on getting a job, I'm not having the greatest time of my life. So much is left unsaid that I feel like I'm being corkedscrewed down and once someone opens the champagne I will explode with inside emotion. My temper seems to inch up on me too often as well.

So I've decided to post on my blog at least once a week, though I'll try to more often than that, given people actually read all this. Think before you take a job is my advice of the post, and really imagine yourself in the position before you take the job too.

And god I want to open up my tutoring services again, cuz I miss them like crazy. I'm in Taipei, so if you want me to teach English (for conversation) or Spanish (as second language) I'd love to, given it fits in with my work schedule. (email me blaizexia@gmail.com, though I don't know why someone who is able to read my blog will need me for English conversation). Tutoring never took my by surprise.

"It's for the experience...it's for the experience..."
Says the one who's being burned out by the experience.


By the way, the food is great at the restaurant I work at. And yeah, two meals. Awesome. Come by if you have the chance. Also, I've been downing more black tea than I've drank in two years. Cuz it's free for me. Joy to the fattening fructose of the world.

So if I've gone MIA (yes, Geetu, I'm sorry) it's cuz I don't pick up my phone at work, and work is taking up so much of my time, so I'm hardly in contact with my own phone. (And the horrible battery for iPhone doesn't help much either).

Peace,
Blaize.

"YAY I GOT INTO COLLEGE!"

Okay so we all know that COLLEGE is something big. COLLEGE is something important. COLLEGE is what determines much of our later lives. COLLEGE is what sends us wildrunning inexperienced teens out into society and the real world.

But I think college is not defined the same way for all of us.

To the Asian Conservative society, it is YOUR FUTURE. Harvard diplomas are unarguably the best thing an Asian parent can brag about for their child. Don't get into college, don't got no future hon. Which college is #1? Which college has the highest GPA-SAT averages amongst its student body? When these undergraduates come out of college, which school's students get most jobs? What are the true secrets of getting into MIT? He must have gotten into Yale because his dad donated a year's salary to the universty! And top this one all gossipy moms: full tuition scholarship for Princeton University! (I've never met anyone who got that). (I did meet someone who got a full tuition scholarship to Stanford University, however).

Okay man. We get it. College is something so judgmental. We base so much of a person's worth on where they get into in college. Is it really that important though?

First of all, how are we supposed to even DETERMINE what the best college is? Of course, there's HYPS, as the whole Asian community is quite familiar with--HARVARDYALEPRINCETONSTANFORD! But with what criterea are we making our judgment on? That these people get the most jobs? That they have the highest GPA-SAT averages? That it's extremely selective? That it's just plain hard to get in?
I'm not sure what all the reasons are, but with those reasons, I'm not convinced. I mean first of all, I don't think these people get the most jobs. And sure it sounds good but if you walk into a job interview and you're just a studious person, no I'm not convinced. And I hate the GPA-SAT rave. Okay sure I have a low SAT score we all know that. But I do have a pretty high GPA. Even so, I don't believe that GPA and SAT can measure us as people. I mean sure, you did well in school if you have a high GPA--you must have studied SOME. And sure, you're pretty quick and on your feet and "intelligent" if you have a high SAT score. But GPA is so volatile as well--maybe you had a bad day and you screwed up a test, or your teacher let your F quiz grade slide. And SAT? Oh man don't get into SAT--you know how small of an area of knowledge SAT tests? With selectivity, I suppose it's valid to say you need to be a "good student" to get into HYPS. But how if you're MERELY studious? What use is that in the real world honestly? If you cant interact with people and communicate well and know how to work the system what is the use of your brains? Can't even get around to using them.

The other thing is, it's not so much of where you go and what college education you have as much as what you do with your college education. You can go to HYPS and come out with nothing. Seriously. I mean sure you can come out extremely smart and studious, but you can also waste your college education away as well. And by that I don't mean slack off four years cuz I'm pretty convinced most HYPSs don't slack that easily, but that you don't make anything out of it--you don't take advantage of your school's curriculum and you don't make use of your college experience. What is rote knowledge for? What about the relationships you gain with certain professors or how into a certain subject you get? Isn't finding all that important as well? I'm convinced it takes more than merely being studious to get there. Also, why do you want to go somewhere you know all you're going to do is study, I mean it's COLLEGE. Make sure you have some time for fun and stuff too.

Anyways again I have a test tomorrow...I would be able to go on forever about this. ToK really gets to you after a while..THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY.

So I just know that whenever I declare YAY I GOT INTO COLLEGE, the yay! is because I got into somewhere I know I'll like, regardless of the GPA-SAT average or the reputation of the school.
And yeah, I should be able to celebrate a bit for getting into college I mean
Mmmhmmmhmm I like this college a lot actually (though it was one of my likely schools)

Sweeeet aye? (; looks more like a resort haha

The thing everyone has to realize someday is that it doesn't matter where you get into--as long as its somewhere with a good foundation and you know it's not like a stoner school or seriously mad party 24/7 school or anything like that it's going to do you good with the experiences you gain there and I'm sure you'll learn lots wherever you go/get into. Wherever you go just know you have got to make the most out of it, not your parents forcing you or by having it be a well-named school. Then any one college is just as valuable as any other because it specifies to you.

Happy Recieving College Acceptances! :)
-Blaize

This World Today (Being an American)

Now I'm never a big one to criticize (highly opinionated is different than criticism xD), but I can't stand the fact that our president deployed 30,000 troops into Afghanistan. I mean okay I'm not president and I know I am no political analyst, nor have I ever been truly educated in full light about the subject, so I have a lot of my own limitations. Fair enough. I am no expert. But I have eyes and ears that look as much as they can reach. And I can't tolerate this. I just can't.


"The use of force morally justified" (peace prize acceptance speech)??? God! Okay yeah what about when people lie dead everywhere? How is THAT moral? I mean I'm sorry if I'm coming across as harsh but really it's NOT about the US, its about Afghanistan. It's their country and you're involving their people. It's not about the US and democratizing and okay why are we threatening countries to democratize?

And please, do not compare this with Nazi Germany Mr. Obama this is what we learned in logic class as the fallacy of the False Analogy. The Germans were warped with the idea of taking over the world (and they were not a minority group) and killing Jews because they were impure in blood supposedly. Al Queda is a minority--it's a small group of radicalists how can you kill so many innocent lives because of the small group of radicalists? And if this is then about Sadamn Hussein it's still not the fault of the people of Afghanistan. Don't do this Mr. Obama, please.

..."force is not a call to cynicism, it is a recognition of history". Yeah, and that APPARENTLY times HAVE NOT CHANGED. This is so not fair. "(direclty continued)..the imperfection of man, and the limits of reason". Yes...and the unfortunate continuation of it by the measures the US has taken to "LIBERATE AFGHANISTAN" oh for the love of God (I'm not religious do not take any offence) you can't threaten people to be liberated! Al Queda is such a small group of radicalists and yes unfortunately they're causing huge problems around the world but how is pointing a gun and asking people who don't have any experience at ALL--not in history not in literature not in art--with democracy to democratize???

I still have to turn to my idol Chinua Achebe to this--I'm not sure he'd be too pleased about what the US is doing. I mean how if Afghanistan just isn't ready? Why can't we let them decide when they are ready. Because there's violence going on there all the time? Okay I get your point, but by using violence back it's no answer either.

Everytime I get here I start crying again. Who's to say what the US is doing is better than letting the country alone? Sure, the country alone is chaotic with the terrorists, and yes, it has killed many, many Americans in 911 but honestly just because the US is going to point guns, loot out the terrorists (and in the process accuse thousands of being terrorists and killing them), bomb villages, and literally, FORCE "democracy" onto Afghanistan (yeah the elections were swell America), doesn't mean Afghanistan can assimilate. Even with force okay this is a racist sounding analogy, but it's like pointing a gun to a newborn baby and telling him/her to walk. They are just not ready. Please understand. They will be someday but not today. And the more you point the gun the more terrorized they will be and maybe you could get the baby to walk. Maybe. But what was given up to make that happen--in this case with Afghanistan lives lost

And it's such a small minority that is involved--I'm sure many Afghanistan people did not like Sadam Hussein and none of them want suicide bombers, but even more violence to make them become a democracy isn't the answer if they simply can't.

I'm not trying to propagandize for the Afghanistan people. I actually don't agree with a lot of what they're saying. It's not entirely Obama's fault okay I mean I hate to be cynical and bitchy/arrogant sounding but the president says what he (someday it'll be she) has to say. I think it was Bismark or someone during Bismark's time who was saying that a leader is only as powerful as the people are--as in they can only make decisions if the majority is in concordance. (well, that was obviously before Hitler, but US is more like what the European guy was talking about than Nazi Germany). But anyways, my point is that I don't believe what they show on Al Jazeera--like in Control Room where the kid was yelling--was justified. Yes, he was disillusioned like anyone would be, but I don't think what a lot of things they said were justified. So I'm not agreeing with what they're saying, and I'm not trying to support any propaganda I'm not saying Al Jazeera is right or anything with the propaganda they're showing (though I'm SO glad they are there--finally at least something from the other side so thank you Al Jazeera).

I'm just saying it doesn't work this way.

I'm saying these things from deep inside and I wish Obama would understand and see that it doesn't work this way. They are just not ready. I understand that you are saying it is justified because if we leave it there suicide bombings and these relgious problems keep happening, but whatever you're doing--deploying 30,000 more troops--is not the way to go. It is not the way to go.
Achebe said, literature helps prepare his people to modernize--don't try to impose things on his people because they are not ready. And they will be ready someday (which is where he believes literature will help), but don't try to "help these poor people". Sympathy is frowned upon without empathy.

I am American. I was born in that beautiful country. I live in Taiwan. I spent my adolescent and pre-adolescent years in Taiwan. I study the IB program. I want to travel; to see more to learn more. I have been opening my visions to bigger, greater ideas. I don't want this from my country.

Alright well, I have a USH final tomorrow and I'm up till 12. Whoopee. And I know of no one that reads my blog, but I have to get my thoughts somewhere.

I hear your crys, Afghanistan.
I won't support slandering Obama to hell, but Obama, know I am deeply wounded and disappointed by your decision.

Praying in this world today,
-Blaize.


PS. Youtube deleted my videos. Well, Carte Blanche suspended it cuz I had the tatty teddy on it. Geez :(